Ambien. No doubt about it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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