Having a random hookup so left but love u
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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