i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
