The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
