we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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