ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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