You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
