Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
