my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
