The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
