He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
