I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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