I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
