Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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