i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
