her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
