I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think a kid would responsible me up
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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