i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
