if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
