ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
