Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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