I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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