Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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