Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
