Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
