he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
