it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
