I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
