I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
