I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
