she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im about as happy as oj after his trial
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
