Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
