Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
