yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
