No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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