Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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