just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My breasts were aching with rage.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
