omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
