You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
