apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
