but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
