i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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