After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize