4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
there's paper in my vomit.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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