We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
