Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
