All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
