she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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