PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
