Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
