You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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