Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize