And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
